We really appreciate all the observations everyone is making on this situation. It won’t change anything, but it would definitely be nice to have a little better understanding as to why we are even dealing with our alienating parent after all of these years, especially since we haven’t had contact with the children for so many years. One person mentioned Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
“Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th Century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today.” [Source: psychcentral.com]
Grandiosity refers to an unrealistic sense of superiority. We’ve covered this subject already in some of our posts: she’s a better parent, grandparent, photographer and, of course, her genealogy must be better because she has more sources, right? 😉
An overwhelming need for admiration: we viewed it as a need to build herself up, by putting others down. So, I suppose this could be construed as an overwhelming need for admiration?
In addition, no one has ever doubted my in-laws’ incredible love for their grandchildren. So why does our alienating parent feel the need to keep injecting herself into her children’s relationship with their paternal grandparents? Why all the comments about her relationship with her former in-laws, especially since she doesn’t make similar comments about her relationship with her own family members? Why is it so important that everyone believe her former in-laws liked her? An overwhelming need for admiration?
Complete lack of empathy toward others. Oh my, we’ve all seen our alienating parent in action and that is a DEFINITE!
Sorry to keep throwing all of these possible scenarios out there, but our alienating parent’s behavior is baffling, to say the least. Like we said at the beginning: it isn’t normal to obsess about a man you’ve been divorced from for over 35 years. And we get it alienating parent — you don’t like me and you have very strong opinions about what you think of me. That doesn’t explain why you feel the need to follow me from website, to website, to website, and express an interest in anything I might be interested in. I would think that the way you feel about me, I’d be the last person you’d want to emulate.