I’m sure this is a subject which was expected by anyone who knows what my husband has been through over the past 35 years.
“The more a parent sees himself or herself as a victim, the greater the possibility that he or she will go after the child’s relationship with ex. And once they do, there is often no limit to their efforts. They will falsely accuse and malign everything associated with their ex, and will manipulate the child like a puppet. In short, they have little to no boundaries. They will spill anything damning– both truths and lies– into the child’s soul. So can you blame the child, who loves this parent unconditionally, for believing the messages being heard?”
Any expert will agree that the first thing parents need to do is put their feelings aside and think about what is best for the children. You never, ever, ever use children to harm someone else. Our targeted parent expected it considering his acrimonious divorce, but he never expected to see his parents being told: “you can’t see your grandchildren.” To sit back and watch them, after all they had done to help with the grandchildren, and their unabiding love for those grandchildren, have to hear those words was a terrible thing.
And then when it started happening to him ….
Needless to say, he made the difficult decision to end his relationship with his own children. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much of a relationship with his children in the first place due to the divorce and all the drama that went on over the years. And when the grandchildren came along and he wasn’t allowed to see them, he decided he wasn’t going to go through the same things his own parents had gone through. He had learned from their experiences.
Having the same dna doesn’t make you a family. Love and respect makes you a family.
I can honestly say that meeting my husband, oh so many years ago was the best thing that ever happened to me. He’s a hard working, honest man — and not too hard on the eyes either! lol! What a perfect combination. I am so glad we met and fell in love because he was the ideal person to help me raise my children. He’s a wonderful father, and an even better grandfather. I feel very blessed to have him in my life.