Treatment of the paternal family ….

A lot of our difficulties with our alienating parent stem from the fact that her children are biologically part of my husband’s family. We touched on the subject of biological ties and emotional ties earlier and wanted to complete that train of thought.

One of my husband’s cousins had contact with our alienating parent and one of her daughters and, as you can see from the e-mails she received, it didn’t go well. (Click on the photos of the e-mails to read them more easily.)

Murray e-mail 1
Murray e-mail page 2

Does a person simply asking that their name be removed as a source on genealogy websites warrant the tone of the two e-mails which were written in response? On one hand, they go on and on about being part of the family — yet this is how they treat members of the family when they actually come in contact with them?

Another cousin had a stroke while traveling in Italy. He was hospitalized there for several months, so the family created a site on CaringBridge to keep all of us here in the U.S. up-to-date on his condition. I innocently posted a link to the CaringBridge page on our photo website and our alienating parent and one of her daughters immediately started posting comments on the CaringBridge page. This concerned the family during an already difficult time, because they had no idea who these people were. We had lunch with one of the brothers of the cousin who was ill and his first question to us was: who are ***** ******* and ****** ******? We had already ended our relationship with my husband’s children by that point, so — as usual — we had to explain why someone who doesn’t know my husband’s cousin, and who will undoubtedly never even meet the cousin, felt the need to get in touch with them during this troublesome time. Because of biological ties, of course!

And, as we’ve pointed out before, actions definitely speak louder than words. They claim they’re interested in the family history (which has been well documented for several years now), which entitles them to be considered part of the family. But then when they do come in contact with family members, they act entirely inappropriately. Guess that says more about the reasons behind their behavior than what they’re trying to get everyone to believe, doesn’t it? 🙂


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