Obviously the majority of our issues with OLF stem from the fact that she and Larry divorced. That divorce took place 36 years ago. 36 years! But the ramifications are still being felt to this day. Larry has no relationship with his children and hasn’t for many years. And that’s a shame, especially for the children.
“Divorce stinks for adults too. People going through a divorce have a lot of good reasons to be angry. If you’re getting divorced, you should be angry at your ex.
By all means, be angry. Be furious. I won’t deny you your rage. If you don’t have children, indulge yourself.
But if you’re a divorcing or divorced parent, you can’t or shouldn’t indulge. Instead, if you’re a divorcing or divorced parent I want you to try to do some things that are emotionally unnatural. Look beyond your rage. Try to understand how you’re really feeling. Try especially to control and contain your anger around your children and its consequences for them.
Here are some questions for divorcing partners who are also parents.
Even if you have a right to be angry, do your children need to be exposed to your anger?
Can you find a way to love your children more than you may hate your ex?
But this isn’t about you. Or about your ex, no matter what a miserable, Axis II, selfish whatever she or he may be.
It’s about your kids and their parents.
It’s about finding a way to be a parent, even as your marriage is unraveling.
It’s about doing your job as parents and as co-parents, so your kids can be kids, not forever children of divorce.”
Very wise words, aren’t they?