Put it in writing …

We learned early on that when dealing with an alienating parent, everything needs to be in writing.  Aside from the repeated telephone calls when OLF would hang up when I answered and keep calling back until Larry picked up the phone …. and then proceed to tell him what a lousy husband he had been …. which was not constructive nor conducive to fostering a relationship between father and children — what do her opinions about him and his attributes as a husband have to do with his relationship with his children? They have nothing to do with that relationship, but they were foremost in the alienating parent’s mind. His relationship with his children quickly took a back burner to OLF’s feelings, even though they had been divorced for over five years.

Experts agree: put everything in writing! For instance, those of you having problems with holiday visitation, here are some guidelines:

“When planning Holiday visitation, individuals who are divorced should consult their settlement agreement or final judgment of divorce or separation in order to make sure that they understand clearly the contact schedule for which they have been provided. In addition, those individuals should carefully note any pre-notice time, which said agreement or orders require.

Once your planning has been completed, you should communicate in writing, outlining your request for contact/visitation for the upcoming year. If contact/visitation is provided for in a specific settlement agreement or court order, you should cite to those particular paragraphs in your visitation communication.

If you receive no objection from the opposing party, then you should follow up your communication in 30 days. Your follow-up communication should state that you have not received any objection or comment on your proposed schedule so you assume that your proposed visitation schedule has been approved.

If you receive an oral objection, then you should immediately communicate in writing to the opposing party when, how, and what was stated when and how you received the objection.

You also should state in your written communication what was said during the conversation. The importance of doing this is so you can create a written record to substantiate your communications.

Once you have confirmed the oral objection in your written communication, you should take the copies of the correspondence to your attorney and request that your attorney contact the opposing attorney immediately to attempt to resolve this objection.

If the objection cannot be resolved through negotiation with the opposing attorney, then you will still have plenty of time in which to bring a motion to obtain your requested visitation.

[Source: divorce support.about.com]


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