Keeping the relationship “together” …. 36 years after a divorce?

“Sometimes one parent will not let go of the conflict because this keeps them “together” in their relationship (albeit a destructive one).”

We have had no contact with my husband’s children for many, many years, but we keep coming across comments made by their mother (his ex-wife, who we affectionately refer to as OLF, or “Our Little Friend”). She makes sure to post her diatribes on websites that she knows we frequent, puts outrageous lies on genealogy websites under the names of my in-laws (which she knows is guaranteed to get a rise from her ex), or else well-meaning people share them with us. She went so far as to use a password stolen from our facebook page to view our private family photos. The authorities suggested that we document her behavior, which we have been doing.

And what we found was startling! Hours spent looking at our photos, viewing our genealogy websites, posting of her opinion about us on those genealogy sites, contacting family members …. the list goes on and on. And all of this taking place 36 years after the divorce, and many years after she was finally successful in alienating her children from their father. Yes: THIRTY SIX YEARS!

In our particular case, the alienating parent makes sure everyone is aware of her connection to her ex through numerous postings on the internet. On genealogy websites, she places comments on her former in-laws’ genealogical information about her relationship with them, even though they have both been gone for over 20 years and her short relationship with them obviously has nothing to do with genealogy. She makes sure to comment about her children’s biological ties with her ex-husband, even though she worked so hard to remove him from their lives.

As stated in the first paragraph of this post, it certainly appears as if OLF “will not let go of the conflict because this keeps them ‘together,” doesn’t it? What other explanation could there be for her continued watching and commenting about every move we make?


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