Most often, the children don’t even realize the alienation is taking place.

“Either the alienated child expects their view of reality to be accepted by the rejected parent or the child accepts their own disorderly thinking because they are unaware of the parental alienation. Imagine for just a moment someone telling you that the car you’re driving is not a car; it’s an alien spaceship.

Only the genesis of the delusion is really at question, not the delusion itself.

Going back to the topic of victims of abuse, many are in denial of their abuse and sometimes that denial can last for a very long time. Being in denial, is the same for alienated children (who are the victims of parental programming), the difference is that alienated children see their abuser as being “all good.” Also alienated children want everyone to accept as they do, the symbiotic relationship they have with the programming abuser.”
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“Third is a lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent. It is a truism of development that children are ambivalent about both of their parents. Even the best parents are imperfect or set limits that cause resentment and frustration. A hallmark of PAS, however, is that the child expresses no ambivalence about the alienating parent, demonstrating an automatic, reflexive, idealized support. One parent becomes all good while the other becomes all bad.

Fourth, the child strongly asserts that the decision to reject the other parent is his or her own. This is what Gardner (1998) called the “Independent Thinker” phenomenon in which the child adamantly claims that the negative feelings are wholly his or her own. These children deny that their feelings about the targeted parent are in any way influenced by the alienating parent. An observer might conclude that the child has been brainwashed or unduly influenced, but, to the child, the experience is authentic and self-generated.

A fifth manifestation is absence of guilt about the treatment of the targeted parent. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent. PAS children will try to get whatever they can from the targeted parent, believing that it is owed to them and that because that parent is such a despicable person, he or she doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect or gratitude.

A sixth manifestation of PAS is reflexive support for the alienating parent in the parental conflict. That is, there is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with inter-parental conflicts. The PAS child has no interest in hearing the targeted parent’s point of view. As Gardner noted, PAS children often make the case for the alienating parent better than the parent does. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say would make any difference to the PAS child.”


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