Low self-esteem could be the cause behind some of an alienating parent’s actions

Low self esteem has been suspect in our alienating parent’s behavior for many years. It is undoubtedly a consequence of the abuse she suffered as a child and we have tried to show compassion and understanding, but there are times she makes it very difficult.

Take, for instance, these comments she left on our photo website:

Smugmug comments 3-24-08

On March 24, 2008, at 5:56 p.m., she went to one of my grandson’s photos and asked why his face was distorted, then at 9:05 p.m. she went to the same photo and left a comment suggesting he needed a haircut. Two minutes later she made a comment on our Easter gallery about the clothes my grandson and his brother wore to see the Easter bunny, and then finished it off a few moments later by leaving a comment on a photo of her grandson: “Now this is a cute baby here”!

If you’ve read some of our earlier posts, you’ll see that putting others down — while building herself up — has been a constant theme with Our Little Friend. It’s one thing if she wants to say derogatory things about her ex or I, we’ve come to expect that. But, as usual, she has to take it a little further and start insulting an innocent child — putting him down by saying his face is distorted and he needs a haircut, while building her grandson up with the comment: “Now this is a cute baby here.” It wasn’t enough to leave derogatory comments on my grandson’s photo, she had to make sure to let us all know what a cute child her grandson was.

Anytime someone looks down on or tries to put down another person, they are revealing their own insecurities. But this particular occurrence, which is not an isolated incident, goes to show exactly how desperate our alienating parent is to show how superior she is — in all facets of her life. She’s a better parent, a better genealogist, a better photographer — and has a cuter grandson!

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