Exercising Power and Control Over an Ex-Spouse

Larry’s divorce took place in the late 1970’s, well before joint custody was even thought of. His ex, of course, got custody ….. and that’s all we ever heard: “as custodial parent, I’ve decided this” and “I’ve decided that.” This gave the alienating parent an avenue to try and make the targeted parent’s life miserable, and our alienating parent used it to her full advantage. The targeted parent had no input whatsoever on what was in the children’s “best interests.”

She controlled her house, our house and even her former in-law’s house — and made sure we all knew it. She questioned every aspect of the time her children spent with their father, as well as with their paternal grandparents.

Here you have a custodial parent, collecting child support, having her day care expenses paid for by County Services, illegally using her ex-husband’s insurance for her own medical expenses years the divorce ….. and she allows her child to go out in the winter with a filthy coat that is too small? That’s in the best interests of the child?


Her youngest daughter had been wearing this jacket for two winters. It was too small, but we still tried to clean it. This is how it looked after soaking and three washings. We finally gave up and bought the child a new winter coat. And guess what Mom’s response was?

Coat note

She wanted the old one back!

And the funny part about this is, she addressed her note “To Whom It May Concern” and signed it “Her Mother …. DXXXX MXXXXX” as if she didn’t know our names, and as if we didn’t know that she was the child’s mother.

Welcome to our world ….


One thought on “Exercising Power and Control Over an Ex-Spouse

  1. Too funny. We have had a very similar episode only with shoes. The child was running around and going to school wearing shoes with big holes them! It was sad. I bought her new ones to wear home and threw the old ones out. Still, months later, she complained that we had never returned the “cute” shoes. I sent her a picture of them with the holes and told her they were in the trash. You’re welcome for replacing them! lol crazy

    Liked by 1 person

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