Control over a former spouse’s family

And, as usual, we’re back to genealogy …..

Our alienating parent, also known as OLF (Our Little Friend) has declared — on a post about my father-in-law on a genealogy website (of course) — that the way we have our family displayed is neither true, nor acceptable.

Rootsweb acceptable rant

If she has a problem with the way our family is displayed, she needs to take that matter up with the developers of our genealogy software, as well as with the website. Because the software we use allows us to distinguish between biological, adopted and step family members. The software puts my biological sons as stepsons of my husband — which is true and which is correct. When the information is uploaded to a genealogy website, however, it does not give details about living people. Therefore, while it may appear as if they were children of my husband’s second marriage, the true details are kept from the public because they deal with living people.

OLF, as well as anyone who researches families using rootsweb, is aware of this decision (not sharing information about living people) on the part of rootsweb. So why is she making such a big deal about it, when she knows that it is only shown in this manner because of rootsweb’s policy when dealing with living individuals?

Answer: because it gives her something to complain about, and something to criticize me about, and something to show how superior she is ….. because she knows the only acceptable way to portray a family on a genealogy website! 🙂

In fact, OLF’s own tree makes it appear that her daughter was married to the fathers of her three children, when, in fact, that is not true.

Rootsweb inaccurate posting

The truth is that there were no marriages whatsoever. So is OLF posting information that “is simply not true and not an acceptable way to portray a family on a genealogy website”? Does the information she is posting make it appear that her daughter had these children during her marriages to the three men?

The crux of the matter here is our alienating parent’s proclamation that the way we have our family displayed on a genealogy website is not acceptable. Even though genealogy software is geared toward including step-families, as well as adopted families.

But, OLF has spoken! This is unacceptable! One of her own family members contacted us, wondering who put her in charge of how their own family shall, or shall not, be displayed on genealogy websites. Narcissistic Personality Disorder in action? Most definitely!

And, psssst, don’t tell OLF, but I am aware of four instances where she has step and/or adopted children posted with the incorrect marriages online. There have been instances in both my family and my husband’s family, where children were not biologically part of a particular marriage. But, again, since they deal with living individuals, details are not shared on rootsweb. Since OLF has no personal knowledge of my family or my husband’s family, she is not aware of those instances. She has copied a great deal of information from our family tree, and has used obituaries to gather names of surviving children. In these four instances, the obituaries did not distinguish whether the children were step-children or adopted (Gasp!), so OLF had no way of knowing whether they were biologically part of my family and/or my husband’s family. And, of course, she has them incorrectly displayed in her family tree. tsk, tsk OLF.

Maybe someone should stop making an idiot of themselves on genealogy websites, with bizarre comments — when she is posting untrue information herself? It appears it’s acceptable when she does it, but not when I do? 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s