For those of you following our blog from it’s inception, you’ll remember that our Alienating Parent was herself abused by a parent. She was sexually abused by her father. She did, for a time, seek counseling and take medication for the resulting trauma from that abuse. Unfortunately, once she felt “okay” she left the counseling and medication behind. It wasn’t long after that that she began the crusade of alienating her children from their father and his parents.
So, our feelings toward her behavior run the gamut from anger (at the parental alienation), to pity (from what she endured at the hands of her own father), to exasperation (that the behavior has continued for over 30 years).
She was an innocent child who suffered through a horrendous childhood.
There were two children brought into this world as a result of her marriage to my husband. Those are, likewise, innocent children. Innocent children who were emotionally abused by their mother, in her quest to alienate them from their father. It is well documented that children suffer when one parent tries to alienate them from the other, which is exactly what happened in our case. The children do not have a close relationship with the targeted parent, they feel the need to “protect” the alienating parent, and oftentimes grow up to exhibit many symptoms of child abuse.
My husband has not spoken to or had any contact with his adult children for several years.
We now have three victims of child abuse in our particular situation: a mother, who was abused as a child, who then went on to abuse her own two children.
On to the next generation: one of my husband’s children is currently in jail. She has three children, from three different relationships. So we now have three more innocent children, harmed because of their mother’s actions. That mother was a victim of child abuse, at the hands of her alienating mother.
We wish there were something we could do to help those innocent children, but their mother made the decision many years ago to take them out of our lives. She was successfully alienated from her own father, and in turn, alienated her children from their grandfather ….. just like her mother tried to do so many years ago with her former in-laws.
Ours is a story of three generations of innocent children being harmed by a parent.
When will the cycle end?