We are in a difficult position: our alienating parent was a victim of child abuse, at the hands of her own father. Our hearts, of course, go out to any child who was the victim of child abuse. But what happens when that victim then becomes an adult, and in turn, abuses her own children, by putting her skewered feelings and thoughts ahead of the interests of her own children?
We’ve seen one domestic relations judge say: While *** suffered from anxiety and depression, she wasn’t insane; she was arrogant, entitled, abusive, selfish and controlling. She played the victim at every turn. When anyone held her accountable for her conduct, she reacted with the ultimate narcissistic act of control, with no concern for the children she professed to love so much.
That describes our alienating parent to a T.
She has sought short-term help for depression. She’s arrogant, abusive … and definitely selfish. Her feelings outweighed any thought of what was best for her children.
A victim … who then went on to make her own children victims.
When will the cycle end?