To my father, and to every alienator

Our alienating parent was abused by her father, and went on to abuse her own children by alienating them from their father. I’m sure it’s difficult for her to understand or appreciate the importance of a parent / child relationship, given her history with her own father. Reading these words, written to a parent / alienator, expressed so much of what we have been going through for so many years.

Mother Erased: a memoir

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” -Jesus

I know that no one is born revengeful or angry. I believe that people enter life as love.

I know that you were abused by your father, who was likely abused by his and so on. I know that his words probably did more damage than his fist- the way he told you that you were worthless, incapable, nothing. He didn’t see you, not really. He told you a lie.

I know that he abused your mother, my grandmother. She told me about the time when you were a teen and had enough of his wrath. The time, the hundredth time, he banged his fist and stood up at the dinner table; something trivial triggered his rage and when he leaned toward your mother, you stood to protect her.  You ran to grab the ax used for…

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