How Do You Document Parental Alienation?

How do you document parental alienation?

The first sign of parental alienation sometimes comes from your own children. The moment one of your children states, “mommy said that you” or “daddy says that you” and then you hear the disparaging remark, even if a subtle one, it is time to take action. To what action do we refer?

While it does depend on the disparagement’s severity, you should at least document the child’s statements to the other parent and calmly explain to the other parent that such a comment was inappropriate when he or she made it to the child. You are not just stating what the child said but you are asking for an explanation and details from the other parent. You want to tell the parent what the child told you, you want the parent to explain exactly what he or she said to the child (or did, if it was conduct) and you want a specific explanation why he or she said or did that.  Why?  In order to avoid a scenario later on of “he said or she said.”  Do you think a parent who alienates the children will admit to it? They don’t.

The alienating parent has only three choices when confronted in writing with his or her misconduct.

  1. Ignore the request for information;
  2. Reply to it and admit his or her conduct; or
  3. Reply to it and deny his or her conduct. Most of the time, there is some form of denial with arrogant alienators whose perspective was so distorted that they did not understand their misconduct.

No matter which path the other parent takes, documenting it and the demand for explanation may, at least, bring to the parent’s attention that you will not tolerate such misconduct. That, by itself, may dissuade further alienation or, if he or she persists and with further documentation, you will have enough information to take court action. Lawyers can use such responses (admissions, false denials or refusal to answer) in family court with success.  [Source: ]


2 thoughts on “How Do You Document Parental Alienation?

  1. Reblogged this on A Day In The Life of A BCBonusMom ……….. and commented:
    I wanted to re-blog this as I feel that it is SUCH an important point to make. This happens ALL too often. It’s not just parental alienation….it’s step-parent alienation too. We have had nothing but this for three years solid. Unfortunately, we haven’t documented EVERYTHING…or we would honestly have a full book by now….but I realize perhaps we should start. The kids are at that age where they are starting to openly make more comments so this will be the time. I better sharpen my pencil!!!


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