Even after all the years of problems — which, incidentally, started way before I came along — our alienating parent still wants to blame me for the fact that her children have no relationship with their father.
This is another perfect example of our alienating parent and her pathological lying: anyone who knows the situation, or has spoken to my husband about his lack of a relationship with his children, knows the truth. But the fact that someone can talk to my husband and get his side of the story, doesn’t stop our alienating parent from giving her version. The fact that her lie can easily be disproven — from the source itself — doesn’t affect her, or her chronic lies.
Is there any reason these adult children cannot call their father? No. We still have the same phone number we always had. Their father is retired, while I go to work every day. If they wanted to talk to him, all they had to do was pick up the phone and give him a call. He also has the same cell phone number he had the last time they spoke to him. I don’t answer that phone. So, again, they have another way to reach him.
But they don’t …..
And no one blames them. They are the innocent victims in all of this. Their behavior is based upon what they believe are facts. And, unfortunately, those facts were conveniently provided by the alienating parent. The targeted parent knows the facts are not true, and I’m sure, at some level, so do the children.
But they can’t act upon that knowledge of the truth. Because that would start all the turmoil again — and no one needs, or deserves, that. We all just live our lives, not speaking or communicating with each other, because then we all have some peace.
And it became abundantly clear several years ago that the only way any of us were going to have peace, was to end the father / children relationship.
Isn’t it sad that one person can wreck so much havoc in the lives of so many people?
Here we have an alienating parent who, by all accounts, is escalating her online tirade against the targeted parent and step-parent to her children — years after there was even any contact between children and targeted parent. Can you imagine what would happen if the children, or the targeted parent, attempted to re-establish their relationship?
It’s so much easier for the “children” to pretend that I’m the cause of all of the problems, than to face the reality that they are victims of parental alienation. If they reached out to their father …. I honestly don’t know what would happen. But I do know that they could no longer go along with the alienating parent’s version of the “facts.”
If they heard, from their father’s own mouth: “I don’t have a relationship with you because ……” — and it had nothing to do with me — reality would have to set in. And, unfortunately, reality is what they have been avoiding.
Their father is in his 60s and we’re hoping he’ll be around for another 30 years or so. But when the time does come that he’s gone, if they can take some solace by placing the blame on me, then so be it. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Instead of mourning a parent they lost, without any communication for many years, and then telling people: the wicked stepmother wouldn’t let us see him. (Does anyone even stop to think how that sounds?!?) Instead, they could enjoy this wonderful man, who is an incredible father, loving grandfather and an awesome friend to so many.
The choice is theirs … not mine. But then, that might mean upsetting the alienating parent and going back to all the drama, turbulence and lies that came along with having a relationship with their father.
So, in conclusion, who can blame them for the decision they made?