Speaking from first hand experience, once of the most difficult things for a targeted parent to understand is the behavior of the children, even after they become adults, to refuse to see the part the alienating parent played in their loss of a relationship with the targeted parent.
“Children are adamant about the decision to reject the other parent as their own. They adopt the ‘Independent Thinker’ phenomenon. This mentality is supported by the alienating parent and defended by the child’s rights to make his own decisions regarding visitation. This is the strongest weapon of the alienating parent. At this point the child has taken ownership of the alienation by adopting the beliefs themselves and no longer require the alienating parent to tell them what to believe.
Children show support of the alienating parent’s position in inter-parental conflict, with no impartiality or willingness to hear the alienated parent point of view.”
[Source: inourcornerllc.com ]