Inventing Fictions

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People have a habit of inventing fictions they will believe wholeheartedly in order to ignore the truth they cannot accept.

Here is a wonderful example on how to co-parent after divorce.

No, it’s not a romantic sequel, but actress Drew Barrymore did reunite with her ex-husband, Will Kopelman, for the holiday weekend.

The exes spent time with their daughters, Olive, 5, and Frankie, 3, for a Christmas holiday to remember in Idaho.

“Yay successful Xmas morning,” Barrymore captioned an Instagram pic of herself and Kopelman enjoying a corn dog and drinks at a brewpub.

Barrymore, 42, continued to chronicle the family’s adventures skating and skiing over the weekend on social media.

Barrymore closed out her family’s memorable Christmas weekend with an Instagram pic of herself and her daughters. The caption read, “Merry Christmas 2017… 2018 you better watch yourself!”

This was the latest shared co-parenting adventure for Barrymore and Kopelman, who ended their four-year marriage in 2016.  The actress periodically posts photos of herself with Kopelman on Instagram, including one in honor of Father’s Day earlier this year.

“Sadly our family is separating legally, although we do not feel this takes away from us being a family,” the actress and the art consultant said when they announced their split in a joint statement in April of 2016.

“Divorce might make one feel like a failure, but eventually you start to find grace in the idea that life goes on. Our children are our universe, and we look forward to living the rest of our lives with them as the first priority.”

[Source:  http://www.today.com]

The 18 Best Things You Can Do For Your Kids After Divorce.

Raising your kids after divorce isn’t easy. You constantly worry about how the split will affect them in the long run — and let’s face it, interacting with your ex in the name of co-parenting isn’t always a walk in the park.

Still, if you strive to put your kids first, divorce can absolutely be an opportunity to be a better parent than you were before your marriage ended.  HuffPost asked their Twitter and Facebook followers to share what they believe is the best thing you can do for your kids after divorce.

See 18 of their favorite responses below.

1. “Don’t talk badly about the other parent. Modeling good behavior by getting along with your ex is really critical to the kids’ stability.

2. “Be consistent in everything you do. Be dependable, reliable and make them laugh. Often.”

3. “Remember this: Genetically, your kids are 50 percent your ex. Every negative thing you say about him or her, you’re saying about the kids, too.”

4. “Be honest with your kids in an age-appropriate way.”

5. “This is a good time to be a smotherer. Smother them with love and support and remind them that the divorce has nothing to do with them and that ultimately, it will be for the best.”

6. “Get a therapist for the kids during the divorce, not after. We did so and my kids really benefitted from having someone removed from the situation to talk to about their feelings. She encouraged them to open up and helped us sidestep a lot of serious issues.”

7. Act like adults.”

8. “Understand that some situations don’t lend themselves to co-parenting. Consider alternatives like parallel parenting. Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean that your spouse has changed.”

9. “Allow your kids equal time with both parents. They deserve it.”

10. “Don’t blindly follow advice from books on post-divorce parenting. The best way to comfort your kids is to go off what you’re sensing from them, not what some self-help author told you to do.”

11. “Be empathetic about the grief they are experiencing. Encourage them to talk and don’t judge their feelings.”

12. “Put their needs first, even before your own. Everything you do should be done in their best interest and nothing you do should be done without asking how your choices will affect them.”

13. “Try your hardest to co-parent. Be there for your ex so you two can support your kids as a team. It’s no longer about the adults so put any animosity aside and do what is in the best interest of your children.”

14. “Realize how futile it is to trash-talk your ex sooner rather than later. The kids will determine the merits and minuses of each parent on their own.”

15. “If you’re allowing the kids to choose who they live with, don’t make them feel guiltyabout their choice.”

16. “Keep in mind: They’re the innocent victims in the situation. Treat them accordingly.”

17. Never use your kids as a weapon, a go-between or a spy against your ex. And never talk negatively about the other parent near them or anywhere they can hear or see it (hint hint: Facebook).”

18. “Love your kids more than you hate your ex.

Family Systems Therapy — Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based “Parental Alienation” (AB-PA)

Divorce ends the marriage. It does not end the family. When there is a child there will always be a family. Divorce involves the transition of the family from an intact family structure united by the marital bond, to a separated family structure united by the parent-child bonds. If you are a mental health professional […]

via Family Systems Therapy — Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based “Parental Alienation” (AB-PA)

2018: Will Family Compassion Finally Beat Alienation? Peace not PAS.

We quoted some potent statistics in the article we chose to herald in the New Year. The statistics came from a variety of reputable sources, but when compiled in one place they present the stark reality of parental alienation in the UK alone: 1 million children alienated from the non-resident parent (at least) 97% of […]

via 2018: Will Family Compassion Finally Beat Alienation? — Peace Not Pas